


Small Packages

by Whendoestheshipsail



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Body Dysphoria, D/s elements, Daddy Kink, Disavowing everything after CACW, Feminization, Happy Ending, Kinky, Lingerie, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 18:18:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20568773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whendoestheshipsail/pseuds/Whendoestheshipsail
Summary: Steve likes to be Bucky's girl and he likes to please his daddy. But, that all changes after the serum.Steve is convinced Bucky doesn't like the new him and Bucky is convinced Steve can now have everything he's ever wanted, including the girl and being the epitome of masculinity. When Bucky gets out of cryo Steve wonders if they have another chance to get it right.





	Small Packages

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinky smut with feminization, Steve calling Bucky Daddy, and Steve does contemplate whether or not he is transgendered. I've tried to be respectful but ultimately I wrote this because I thought it was hot. If you're sensitive to any of those things, this may not be the story for you. Dead Dove.

Steve was sleeping when Bucky came and sat down on the bed beside him. It was early and cold and the warm press of Bucky’s lips against his cheek made him turn towards Bucky, wanting him to come back to bed.“Hey sweetheart, I’m gonna go, but I wanted to give you something first,” he murmured, lips gliding downwards and pressing against Steve’s shoulder as he spoke.

Steve opened his eyes and forced himself to sit up. Bucky was all dressed for work, looking handsome and ruggedly masculine. He hadn’t shaved and he was holding something in his hands, small and tissue wrapped. If Bucky hadn’t shaved then it meant he had plans for them this evening and Steve would likely wind up with beard burn all over his body.

“Bucky! You shouldn’t have,” he said shyly, already blushing. “It’s a very small package.”

“I like small packages,” he murmured, saying it in such a way that a little zing of pleasure went through Steve. “Oh yeah, which package is that?”

“Too many to choose from. Open it, babydoll, I’m gonna be late.”

“Sorry,” he said, tearing the paper open. Inside was a fuchsia lace and silk garment. “It’s beautiful,” he said, touching it softly.

“No, you’re beautiful,” Bucky said, and he reached over, cupped his hand over Steve’s flat breast, stroking his thumb across his nipple. “I finish work a bit early. Was thinking of taking my best girl out tonight.”

Steve looked up, struck with fear and excitement. “What do you mean?”

“I want to take you out. I want you to get all dolled up for me and I want to show you off.” Steve shook his head, unhappily. “No, Buck. That’s not a good idea. Everyone will know.”

“No, they won’t.”

“I can’t,” he whispered, blinking back tears at the look on Bucky’s face. Of course he wanted to go. Wanted to be Bucky’s girl and look good for him and enjoy him in public.

“Okay, then how about you make us something nice for dinner and you can show off this little number for me here instead?”

Steve threw his arms around Bucky. “I love you. You bought this knowing I’d say no, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess I did. I want to take you out, Stevie. Prettiest girl there is. And I’d keep you safe, you know I would.”

Steve nodded. He did know that. But, he was scared. He knew how manly he was. Even though there wasn’t much of him, he had things that stood out, that meant he’d be noticed and mocked. Maybe worse.

Despite what Bucky thought, no one would look at him all dressed up and think he was a girl. Bucky was deluding himself. That’s how much he loved Steve. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. But you better be all pretty for me when I come home. If we aren’t going out, that’s fine, but it’s still date night and I have expectations of you.”

Steve wasn’t sure what Bucky meant by that. But then he put a hand down on Steve’s thigh under the blanket and squeezed gently. Steve wanted his hand higher, felt his cock getting hard just from that light touch. Bucky made him crazy.

“Get yourself all pretty, baby. It’s been a long week and I want something nice to come home to,” he said, looking Steve’s body up and down and licking his lips absently.

“Yes, daddy,” he said, because it drove Bucky wild, and sure enough Bucky got that look in his eyes that meant he was thinking of getting his dick into Steve one way or another, and was trying to figure out if there was time to do it immediately.

“I have to go,” he sighed, and he stood up. He was half-hard in his pants. Steve could see the bulge and he reached out a hand to pet him but Bucky caught his hand and shook his head no. He looked at Steve’s hand for a moment and brought it to his lips, kissed his fingers. “Paint your nails too, baby. And I want the high heeled peep toed shoes tonight.”

It took forever for Steve to paint his nails. He was terrible at it. And he wanted fingers _and_ toes? “You gonna make it worth my while?” he asked, sinking his teeth into his lower lip and looking at Steve from under his lashes.

“Fucking hell. What are you, practicing how to make me lose my mind? I’m not letting you out of bed once I get you in there. Make sure we have enough slick so I don’t hurt you, maybe open yourself up a little.” Bucky blinks after a moment, undoubtedly having lost himself to the idea of Steve and slick and opening himself up. “I might want you as soon as I walk in the door.” Which meant he would.

Steve’s cock was achingly hard now and he put his hand over himself, giving a little squeeze. His hole clenched and he ground down on the bed, wishing he was a little sore this morning but Bucky had wanted his mouth last night and the night before he’d come between Steve’s thighs.

“And, Stevie?” Steve looked at him, pouted, already knowing what he was going to say. “Don’t you come without me.”

He nodded. “Yes, daddy.”

“That’s my good girl.”

***

By the time Bucky got home, Steve was beside himself. He’d hated the polish he had and he’d had to go out and buy more. And then the butcher was out of bacon and so he’d had to go to the other butcher half a mile away and it got too hot. He’d come home and he’d been sweating, which he hated.

He’d cleaned the house and changed the sheets, bought candles and some whiskey and then painted his nails. He’d dressed and put on makeup, but he hated the way he looked. The day had been one minor disaster after another and here he was, feeling stupid and looking ridiculous.

He didn’t look good enough for Bucky. Why would Bucky want him when he could have a real girl?

And then there was the slip Bucky had bought him. It was beautiful. Unbelievably beautiful and it must have cost a small fortune. It didn’t fit right. The chest was too loose, seeming to highlight what he didn’t have to fill it out, and the hips were somehow too tight which meant his cock was visible through the material.

He looked ugly. And then he’d put his lipstick on, the red one and it looked horrible with the slip, clashing and he looked sallow and cheap. He heard Bucky’s tread on the stairs and looked around in a panic. He hadn’t gotten his shoes on yet!

The front door opened and closed and Steve rushed to put his shoes on, banging his knee on the side of their bed. And suddenly it was all too much and he sat down on the bed and started to cry. He knew the moment Bucky stood in their doorway, could feel the weight of his gaze.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he said, coming closer. He dropped down to one knee but didn’t touch Steve. “I need to shower. I’m dirty. I don’t want to get my dirt on you so I ain’t gonna hug you but what’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid. I’m sorry,” he said, and he lifted his hand away from his knee.

“You’re bleeding!” Bucky did touch him then, not the wound itself but near it, ever so careful with him and his delicate skin. “What the hell happened?” he demanded, disappearing to the kitchen to get a little bandage for Steve’s knee. He came back and got him all fixed up, pressed a kiss gently to his knee and looked up at Steve, full of patience. “Tell me what happened?”

“Nothing! Not really. I ran into the bed trying to get my shoes on, and I look _awful_. I wanted to look pretty for you. And now you’re here and I’m crying and I couldn’t even greet you properly and—what’s the point? Why are we even pretending?” he said, and he grabbed at his dress, trying to rip the buttons off.

“Hey! Stop that!” Bucky grabbed his hands in his. Steve thrashed in his grip but Bucky didn’t let go. Steve twisted futilely, brought his leg up, kicking at Bucky and Bucky shoved him back to the bed and landed on top of him. “No, you don’t. You little hellcat!”

“Don’t call me that. I want to change. I’m not a girl. I look _stupid_. Just leave me alone, let me get changed and you can go out and find a real girl,” he said, the last word a sob.

Bucky went stiff above him. “What do you mean ‘go find a real girl?’”

Steve was helpless, trapped under his powerful body. He tried to spit at Bucky, unable to think of anything else he could do to repulse him.

Bucky was staring at him. A narrow gaze, still and quiet, contemplative. Steve realized he was panting and he tried to breathe more calmly. And he must look even more of a mess than he had before, now that he’d been crying. He turned his head away, not wanting Bucky to see him.

“No.” Bucky said, voice low and full of command. Steve swallowed hard, knew his lower lip was trembling and sucked it into his mouth, tasting lipstick. He stared at the ceiling, couldn’t bear to face Bucky after the way he’d behaved. And he didn’t want to see the rejection on his face.

Bucky leaned down and kissed him. Slow and hard, forcing him to open his mouth, the heavy weight of him pressing Steve into the bed. Steve’s body responded, his cock getting hard and he twisted again, wanting to get his hips out of the way.

Bucky moaned into the kiss and shifted Steve’s hands, holding them together above his head in one large hand. He loved Bucky’s hands and how much Bucky overpowered him. Bucky trailed his free hand down and palmed Steve’s breast through his dress and shook his head regretfully.

“Seems a shame, my big, dirty paws on such a pretty dress, mussing it all up.” He licked his lips and looked at Steve. Steve who was now hard under him. Bucky kissed him again, sweet and soft like Steve was precious. He kissed Steve’s jaw and breathed him in, smelling the rose soap and scented lotion Bucky had bought him. It made his skin soft and it always drove Bucky wild.

“You smell so good. Sorry, baby. Here I am smelling like sweat and work. Don’t want to get that all over you,” he says, even as his hand is going down Steve’s hip and to his thigh. He brushes his fingers along the hem, where Steve’s bare leg is, shaved and lotion soft, not sticky but somehow it feels like skin that’s been prepared to be touched.

Bucky groans, bunches his hand in the material, which always makes Steve’s breath hitch, and then flattens his hand, sliding the dress up, baring him. Steve feels the blush rising up his chest and his neck, face getting hot. “I’m sorry,” he says, as Bucky stops mid-thigh and urges Steve to wrap his leg around his waist.

“Are you wearing my gift?” Bucky asks, even as he’s looking down, trying to see.

“It looks stupid on me,” Steve whispers, and the tears are coming back.

“I fucking doubt it.” And he’s got his hand higher now, all along Steve’s thigh and that crease of his ass where his cheek meets thigh. “I wanna see, sweetheart.”

“Please, don’t. I just…I wanted it to look right. And I look like….”

“What?” Bucky asks, concerned. Steve knows he’s listening, waiting for him to answer, but it’s distracting because Bucky has moved off of him so he can unbutton his pants. Steve knows what’s gonna happen here and he both wants it and doesn’t. It’s both sweet and devastating when they play like this.

On one hand, Steve feels loved and seen and…_whole_. When they’re like this, he belongs to his fella. Bucky calls him his girl, he calls Bucky daddy and Bucky treats him like he’s fragile. When Steve is Bucky’s girl, it’s the only time he’s this vulnerable and delicate. When he isn’t Bucky’s girl, when he’s just Steve, things are different between them.

Lately, it seems like Steve is always playing at being Bucky’s girl.

But, then there are days like today where Steve is never more aware of how much of a fraud he is, how delusional and freakish he must be, if this is what Bucky has resigned himself to. “Just…ridiculous.”

“No, you don’t. Not possible. You know why?”

Steve knows what Bucky is going to say and do, he does. “No, I don’t,” he says anyway, because he needs to hear it. He desperately wants to believe he’s good enough and right now he doesn’t. Right now it’s all a lie, and he’s a freak and disgusting, and he desperately wants Bucky to convince him otherwise.

“Because you’re lovely. And you make me so hard when you’re like this. You know that, don’t you? I get home and have to have you when you’re like this.”

“Bucky,” he says, reduced to begging.

“I don’t care what anyone thinks. I’m not sure I care what you think. Not when you’re like this and telling me lies. You’re wrong, Stevie. I see you, baby. You’re different when you’re like this. You’re softer and more relaxed. You smile more and you treat me sweet. You cry and let me help you…I love my Stevie girl. Don’t you love it, too?”His fingers are sliding under the band of Steve’s panties, into the wet heat between his cheeks where’s he’s already oiled up and opened.

“Oh fuck,” Bucky says, and he stops himself from putting a finger into Steve with a groan, head dropping to Steve’s chest. He nuzzles at the dress, tries to get his lips on Steve’s breast, wanting his nipple in his mouth. “I’m dirty. Put me in you. Your dainty hands on me so I don’t make more of a mess of you.”

Steve opens his legs wider and reaches between them, wraps a hand around Bucky’s shaft and squeezes him gently. “You’re never too dirty for me,” he whispers, offering his mouth.

“Oh, princess. My sweet girl. I need you. You wet enough for me? I can get more slick if you need it,” he offers, his voice already raspy with desire.

Steve smiles at him, at the concern Bucky has for him, even as his cock is flexing in Steve’s hand, desperate to be inside him. “No. I’m all set. Didn’t you feel how wet I am?” he asks, but he’s shy about it now and he looks down at the hollow of Bucky’s throat.

He lines up Bucky’s cock to his entrance, his passage twitching with the need to be filled. “You want me, baby? Fuck, I want you. I want you. I love you,” Bucky says, pushing into Steve in a slow, steady thrust. It steals Steve’s breath and his back arches up and up, his passage clenching, rippling and being forced open as Bucky continues his steady, inexorable claiming. And then he’s seated, Bucky’s heavy balls pressed against Steve.

Steve is breathing, shallow and with little sounds on every exhale. Bucky looks down at him, kisses the tears off his cheeks. “What’s this from? Me hurting you or are you feeling a little better now?”

“Both. Maybe. I love you, too.”

The words make Bucky’s cock pulse inside him and he utters a small cry, his hole fluttering and desperate to get Bucky out. He tries to relax, lets his feet and legs rub against Bucky.

“You’re so big, daddy,” he whispers. It’s true and it’s an apology for how he’s behaved.

“You’re so tiny is all.”

Steve nods in agreement. He tries to curl his hips up and get more of Bucky inside him. He loves that Bucky is dressed. He loves that he smells like he’s been working. Like sweat and life and man. He loves the contrast it gives, Steve as delicate and sweet smelling, warm and wet for his beast of a man.

“I ain’t gonna last, sweetheart. Not even long enough to take care of you. You probably don’t even want my dirty hands on that sweet pussy of yours, do you?”

Steve kisses Bucky’s jaw. Embarrassed and grateful. He doesn’t want Bucky to touch his cock or his balls when he’s like this. When he’s gone this far down into the role and he’s pretending and wishing he was someone different, Bucky’s girl who could carry his kids and fill out a bra so Bucky could leer at his tits and bury his face in them. He wishes it was easier for Bucky to slide on into him, that he had two holes to offer him and that he didn’t have to prep and have Bucky pause whenever he got into him.

Sometimes, he wondered if he’d let Bucky take him this way if he was a girl. “Would you want me like this, if I… if I’d been a girl?”

“I want everything you have to give me. I want what I’ve got with you now and I also want my best friend. You make me greedy. I love it when you’re sweet and clingy. Hey. Look at me.” Bucky shakes his head, his smile is a bit forced. “I’m not a good man, Stevie. Not really. The truth is I like it this way. I like that you have to _prepare_ for my cock. I like that you trust me with your body even though I could really hurt you if I wasn’t careful. Sometimes….” He stops talking, starts kissing Steve and moves his hips a little, cock shifting in and out an inch to see if Steve is ready for him to move yet.

Steve moans and Bucky finally lets go of Steve’s hands. Steve grabs Bucky’s ass, pulls him tighter against him and grinds upwards. Bucky swears and starts fucking him, slow and easy, watching Steve’s face the whole time, always so careful.

“Sometimes what? You’re not getting out of it so easily.”

“Nothing,” he says, and kisses him, wet and sloppy like Steve loves. When he pulls back he’s panting and he moves down Steve’s neck, “Can I mark you, sweetheart?”

“You want to?”

“This pretty, soft skin? Yeah, yeah I do. Want everyone to know you’re mine. That I had you. Fuck, I need to come now. You always get me so hot.”

“Yeah, yeah. Come in me. Please, come in me.”

Bucky pulls almost all the way out and fucks back in hard, stealing Steve’s breath. Bucky loses himself to it, driving harder and harder, looks down to see his cock sliding in and out of Steve. That always gets him going. “God, you are so fucking tight.” And he slams home one last time and comes, filling Steve up inside. He pulls out when he’s done, stripping his cock for that last spurt of fluid. He looks at Steve as he smears it into the space behind Steve’s balls, working it into him like it’s more lotion.

Bucky presses Steve’s legs back and come floods out of Steve’s hole, which is horribly mortifying and which Steve allows because Bucky likes it.

Bucky kisses the inside of his knee and groans. Come tickles him as it leaks downwards. Bucky pulls out a handkerchief from his back pocket and presses it to Steve’s hole so he doesn’t drip onto the bed.

“What were you going to say before?” Steve asks. “Sometimes you what?”

Bucky shakes his head gently and gets up. He buttons his pants negligently and reaches down for Steve’s shoes, putting one on each foot and then admiring them. “You’ve got the daintiest ankles. Is that a new color?”

“Yeah,” he offers, shyly.

“I want to hold you but I want to shower first.”

“Go shower. I’ll feed you and then you can hold me,” Steve says.

“Deal,” Bucky agrees, grinning crookedly at him and then leaving Steve in bed.

When Bucky is gone, Steve sits up, feels more come run out of him and soak the cloth. His hole is throbbing, aching from Bucky’s cock, his hurried pace and fast, relentless entry.

He loves that. The truth is that Steve feels more like himself when he’s hurt and sore back there. It makes the negativity disappear, lets him feel like he’s done good and pleased his man. He likes thinking he’s so sexy Bucky has done filthy things to him.

And Steve likes that he’s _endured_ for him. He watches his own hand slide down,takes in his short nails, painted salmon pink and his knobbly knuckles ruining the effect of him being soft and delicate. He feels his cock, is happy his erection went down when Bucky was fucking him.

He’s happiest when he isn’t hard. His cock being hard distracts him, reminds him he’s a guy pretending to be a girl. When his cock is soft and all he can feel is Bucky huge and inside him… that’s right.

He gets to his feet and fixes his panties, smoothing the material over his cock. There’s a damp patch on the front from where he leaked when Bucky was talking sweet to him and covering him, holding his hands tightly.

His legs feel like jelly and he almost stumbles in the heels, three inches and with a bow over the peep toe. His feet do look cute in them and the polish is nice. He looks in the mirror, at his smeared lipstick and goes to fix it. By the time Bucky is out of the shower Steve is feeling better and he has dinner on the table.

He’s at the sink, putting water in the pan he’d cooked dinner in when Bucky comes up behind him and kisses his neck. He smells like soap and Steve shivers as his shower warm lips press against the back of his neck. Bucky rubs his stubble across Steve’s neck and he pushes his ass back into Bucky’s groin.

“Are you hard again, already?” Steve asks, blushing and pleased. A smile spreads across his face at the idea.

“I am. Kept thinking about you in the shower. Couldn’t touch you so I had to touch myself,” he says, pressing his erection against Steve’s bottom. “Can’t wait to take this dress off you. You ain’t too sore for me, are you, babydoll?”

“No, daddy. Never,” he says, turning his head so Bucky can kiss his lips. Bucky does, careful not to smear his lipstick. His hands come around, cupping Steve’s tits, squeezing blindly for his nipples. Steve’s head drops forward. This is always a little difficult for him. He knows Bucky loves tits. And he doesn’t have them. Sometimes it’s hard to believe his bony chest is enough.

“Will you sit on my lap? Let me feed you?”

“You want to feed me, too?”

“I do. I like putting things in your mouth.”

Steve chuckles and Bucky smacks him on the ass. He steps back, makes sure Steve is watching when he moves his big, hard cock in his pants and goes to the table to sit down. He pats his leg, grinning and practically leering at Steve.

“Are you going to keep your hands to yourself?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I worked hard on this meal for you, Bucky Barnes.”

“I know. And I want you here so I can show you how much I appreciate it.”

Steve sighs, dramatically and adjusts his dress a little as he sits down on Bucky’s thigh. “Here, scoot over just a little.” And he moves Steve so his cock is presses against Steve firmly. “That’s better. You feel like heaven. Smell like heaven,” he murmurs, kissing Steve and breathing him in.

“I thought you were eating?”

“I think I want to eat you,” he growls.

“Daddy, it’s dinner,” he says, breathily. He crosses his legs, his cock hard and getting in the way, pressing uncomfortably against his panties. The food will get cold and usually that would be annoying but Steve is still fragile, still doesn’t feel as pretty as he wants to, wants to know Bucky wants him more than he wants food. “You can’t— can’t you wait?”he asks, changing the question so Bucky can infer what Steve wants to hear.

“I can’t, sweetheart. I don’t think I can. I’m sorry. I am hungry. Been working all day but you’re here. I gotta see you in your present. Can I open you up? Please?” he begs, roughly, fingers already reaching for the zipper on Steve’s dress.

Steve is flustered. He just is. Even though he knows what this is, there is some part of him that instantly goes into a different headspace, a softer one, more giving and willing and vulnerable and he comes over shy sometimes.

“That’s my good girl,” Bucky says, unzipping Steve quickly, “you just let me, okay?”Bucky pushes him to his feet when he realizes Steve isn’t going to tell him no. He yanks Steve’s dress down, lets it pool at his feet and admires him, for the first time tonight Steve feels like he’s actually beautiful.

“Fucking hell,” Bucky says, seemingly shocked by Steve’s beauty. His gaze roams over Steve, lands on the outline of Steve’s hard cock. He drops back to his knees buries his face into Steve’s crotch and presses all around Steve’s shaft and the head of him. “Perfect. You know I love this, too. Love you. You gonna give me this, babydoll?” he asks, rolling his face over him like he’s a cat and Steve is catnip. But Bucky’s also got fingers creeping into his crevice and pressing his hole through the material.

“Only if you mean it,” he says. Bucky rolls his eyes up to him.

“Course I mean it,” he sounds annoyed that Steve doubts it.

Steve swallow. “Maybe…convince me?”

“Convince you,” Bucky murmurs, darkly and he chuckles.

“Don’t…don’t be gentle, daddy.”

Bucky gets to his feet, something dark coming into his eyes. He likes Bucky like this, a bit more careless and aggressive. And he’s already been fucked once so this time would be uncomfortable anyway but now…. After that invitation, Bucky is going to be careless and greedy and Steve will be sore for days.

“If you cry, I’ll put you back together?” Bucky threatens.

“I know, daddy.” His cock pulses and he’s worried he’s just going to come, untouched, right here.

Bucky reaches for the straps of the slip, slides them down Steve’s shoulders, kisses his skin as it’s revealed. He bites at Steve’s nipples until they’re red and he’s struggling not to flinch away. They’re throbbing when he’s done. “Look, baby. Look how swollen they are from my kisses?”

And they are. They look bigger, the nipples pebbled and the flesh red, a little swollen. No one would think he had tits but for him it’s good. It’s _better_. Bucky reaches up and grabs at them, swipes his tongue over them, sandpaper rough and Steve keens.

“There you go. My baby getting all noisy now, huh?”

“Yes, daddy,” he whispers. The slip falls to the ground and Bucky gets Steve’s underwear down too, holds it so it stays on his thighs. He’s down again, mouth swallowing Steve’s cock and Steve cleaves forward in pleasure, going weak everywhere. “Can I come? Daddy? _Daddy?_ Can I?”

Bucky pulls off and Steve moans in frustration. He tries to kiss Bucky as he stands but Bucky is having none of it, too eager to get inside him. “Turn around. It’s time, sweetheart.”

“But the dinner,” he says, even as he’s moving a plate out of the way. He bends over, rests his forearms on the table and can hear Bucky panting. Bucky palms Steve’s ass and slaps his rear, making Steve’s cheeks jiggle. He smacks them upwards, over and over again until Steve is pink and his ass is hot.

“Now I can fuck you. Give you something else to feel.”

“Yes, daddy.”

Bucky pulls Steve’s cheeks open, thumbs on the rim and slipping almost inside him as he opens him up roughly. Steve drops a hand to his cock and jerks himself off, needing to touch himself, he’s that hard. “Are you wet?” Bucky asks, and Steve knows Bucky means his cock. “You dripping yet?”

He hears Bucky opening the vaseline, the sound of him getting slicked up always makes Steve embarrassed and desperate. “Yes, daddy.”

“There’s my good girl,” he says. “You ready? Relax. Push out and let me in. Be sweet to me now.”

“Daddy. _Daddy_,” he gasps, as Bucky’s cock presses into him. He reaches back and Bucky grabs his hand, lets Steve hold onto him as his hips push forward. He gets himself in but doesn’t stop, pushes and pushes until Steve loses ground, shoes sliding on the floor as Bucky fucks him into the table.

“Sorry, baby,” he murmurs, and pulls Steve’s hips back hard as he repositions them away from the table edge, keeping Steve impaled on his cock as he moves.

“Tell me.” Bucky orders, and he pushes Steve forward, off of his cock and then back onto him. It’s intense and fast, the breaching burns his rim and his hole is clutching and protesting, as confused about what it wants as the rest of Steve is. 

“A lot,” Steve gasps.

“Am I too big, baby?” He growls, feet shuffling in closer, cock pressing flush and hard into Steve to make his point and force Steve to feel it. “This hole sure is small and pink. God, you should see what it looks like when I pull out of you. You’re clinging to me, babydoll. Like you want me inside, can’t bear to let me go. Is that true? You need me here like I needyou?” he demands, mouthing desperately at Steve’s neck.

“Bucky!” he cries out. “I love you, I love you.” There isn’t anything else to say. There isn’t anything else he can do to show it. He doesn’t get more vulnerable than this, there’s nothing left. No secrets or defenses. He sobs and calls Bucky daddy again in a broken whisper.

“There’s my baby.” Bucky says through clenched teeth and he slides a hand up Steve’s chest, and keeps going, wraps his big hand around Steve’s throat and hauls him upwards, fucks in and out hard and harder as Steve gasps for air.

He’s got a hand on Steve’s cock now, too. “Please,” Steve begs, needing to come.

“You’re wet. You’re so fucking wet. Sloppy with it. Dripping all over my hand. Need you to come. Want you milking my cock as I come. _Fuck_. I gotta come now, Stevie. Can’t hold it anymore. Do it, baby. Make it good for me.”

“Yes, daddy!” he tries to say and his body obeys, he comes deep and hard, cock spilling endlessly as Bucky jerks him through it and groans loudly in his ear like a dying animal. Bucky comes as Steve’s orgasm makes his passage tighten and relax on Bucky’s cock.

“Fucking hell. That’s amazing. You’re so _fucking_ good. Best I’ve ever had. _Ever_, Stevie.” He fucks into him and shoves Steve down to the table, grinding as he tries to get that last fraction of an inch, desperate for the clutch of Steve’s body.

“Don’t pull out,” Steve says, as soon as he can. “Just…wait til you slip out. Please.”

“Whatever you want, sweetheart.”And Bucky’s cock pulses again. Steve shudders at the feeling. It’s too much now and he whimpers. Bucky kisses his shoulder and rubs his back and his arms while they wait. “Did I hurt you?” he asks, already worried.

“No.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Will you let me lick you tonight?”

Steve buries his face in his arm. “I’ll always let you do whatever you want.” His voice wavers at the end because isn’t that the truth of it? Bucky is it for him. “You don’t know, Buck. How much I love you.”

“I do. I told you before, it’s you and me to the end of the line, whatever that means.”

There’s something in his voice. Steve puts a hand on Bucky’s hip, pushes and Bucky’s cock slips easily free. Come runs down his thighs as he turns around. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Bucky shakes his head, doesn’t meet his gaze.

“You got drafted,” Steve whispers, scared and horrified.

The jealousy comes later. In the morning, after he’s taken off his polish and smells like boring soap instead of lotion and sex.

***

They’d fought before Bucky left. It’s all Steve can think about as he’s falling through the air and lands behind enemy lines. The stupidest fight. Steve being self-righteous and patriotic, believing in the noble cause while Bucky was one step away from crying and not wanting to go.

Steve had started off supportive and he’d said the words wrong. He meant to say that Bucky was a hero for doing the right thing, even if he’d had to be drafted to do it. And instead he’d made it sound like Bucky was a coward. Steve hadn’t known how to fix it.

And then Bucky’d come back from basic, one last night before he was going to be shipped out and he’d found Steve getting the crap kicked out of him again and he knew Bucky was furious. When Steve was in _that_ mood, itching for a fight and trying to prove what a man he was, things weren’t great between them. Bucky’s best girl didn’t make an appearance.

Bucky was so effortlessly masculine that it rubbed Steve the wrong way. It wasn’t fair. Steve envied him and wished he was different.

On that last night, there were no soft words between them. No silk and kisses and Steve being wet and open for his man.

It was Bucky feeling like Steve didn’t want him and Steve feeling like a failure, and by the end of the night Bucky had gone off with two girls and it had been a bit of a fuck you to Steve and Steve had been just angry enough to let him go instead of trying to get him back and treat him right.

And now Steve looked like _this_. What would Bucky think? It scared Steve so badly he’d thrown up the first night after the serum. He’d known he’d be different but he didn’t know he’d be _giant_.

None of that actually mattered. Until he found Bucky, he didn’t have to think about what Bucky would say now that his girl was gone.

They didn’t talk much until they got back to camp.

Bucky saw him with Peggy and walked away, leaving him alone yet surrounded by people. Bucky’d had to look up to him in order to meet his gaze. Steve was taller than him. And Bucky was fragile. So fragile and flinching, and that first night Steve held him and Bucky cried and neither of them knew what the fuck to do with that.

He’d wanted things to be better in the morning. There was one good thing about his new body. One part of him he thought Bucky might like. But, when they’d gone to the showers and Bucky had seen him without his shirt, seen his chest, his gaze had shuttered.

“The first thing Peggy did when she saw me was touch my chest,” he says, defensive and hurt that Bucky looked away and didn’t even try to touch him. Steve wants to be dressed. He wants to hide. He wishes he could go back in time and…and what? He never could have rescued Bucky if he didn’t look like this.

“I couldn’t have saved you like I was,” he says, voice gravel. His voice would have broken before, gone high-pitched and Bucky would have rushed in and hugged him tight, called him sweetheart. His body’s betrayal, soft and weak, was the thing that had always lured Bucky in. Now his body was strong, and even though his head was lowered, his shoulders were strong and his eyes were dry and he looked like a fucking god.

“She was there right when you came out, huh?”

And Steve wants to hit him. That’s all he has to say? “I _saved_ you. I did this for us,” he says.

Bucky laughs at him. “No, you did this for _you_, pal. _You_ wanted to fight. _You_ wanted to be man enough to come over here and fucking kill people. Congratulations. Now, you’re the hero. And you’ve got the girl, too.”

“Wait. Buck. Don’t leave it like this,” he says, and he grabs Bucky’s arm. He doesn’t know his own strength. Bucky tries to jerk away and he can’t because Steve is a super soldier and doesn’t want to let him go. Fear makes him hold on tighter.

It’s only later that he wonders if maybe Bucky had freaked out then because he’d been tortured and didn’t trust touch. It’s only later that he wonders what would have happened if he’d gone back to their tent, taken off his clothes and kneeled on the ground, head bowed for when Bucky got back. Would Bucky have _seen_ him and known how much Steve loved him? Later, he thought of a million different things he could have done that would have let Bucky know that he was still his. His boy. His girl.

In whatever way Bucky might have had him, he would have tried.

But that was later. After he fell from the train, and as he forced the plane into the water, all those things came to him.

But, right then, when he was holding Bucky hard and tight, desperate to keep him, bruising him instead of being bruised, Bucky looking up at him, searching Steve’s gaze for something. Steve jerked his chin up an inch, and Bucky had looked down, looked at Steve’s half-hard newly giant cock visible under the towel and he’d smirked.

“She’ll like that. Might have to use two hands.”

Steve flinched. Bucky jerked free. He didn’t look back.

After that they were friends. The best of friends and Steve had never been so miserable in his entire fucking life.

***

When Steve wakes up decades later, he learns about being transgendered and dysphoria. He learns about HRT but doesn’t do anything about it. It’s not that he wants to be a girl. And he certainly doesn’t want to be a girl all the time. He just wishes he’d been Bucky’s girl. And if Bucky were here today, wanting him, and he was still small and slight…maybe.

None of that is worth thinking about.

The Winter Soldier almost kills him.

When the triggers are finally gone and Bucky is woken up for what is hopefully the final time, Steve isn’t there.

He should have been there.

He comes home from yet another mission. Bruised and battered. There’s blood in his beard, two fingers are broken and his arm is wrapped protectively over his broken and healing ribs. Bucky comes to his quarters, and thankfully he lets himself in so Steve doesn’t have to get up.

“You look like hell, pal.”

“It’s a disguise. I feel like shit.” Steve says, and Bucky gives him a grimacing smile.

“Can I feed you and clean you up?”

If left to his own devices, Steve would fall asleep here, wake up in the morning and take a shower. His ribs would be most likely healed and while he’d be fucking ravenous he’d be okay. He doesn’t usually eat when he’s injured his ribs. It hurts too much. “Yeah, Buck. That’d be great.”

Steve’s got one rule now, one painfully learned lesson that he’ll let guide every decision he makes until something kills him: anything Bucky wants from him, he’s going to try to say yes.

Bucky makes him scrambled eggs with cheese on top and toast. He sits across from Steve on the coffee table and feeds Steve carefully. It reminds him of Brooklyn when he got to sit on Bucky’s lap and Bucky would feed him by hand. He misses it so much it takes everything in him not to cry.

Bucky puts the dishes away and Steve closes his eyes. Maybe if he’s asleep Bucky will leave him be. He doesn’t think he has the strength to deal with Bucky not wanting him today. He’s too bruised and battered. He dozes. He feels Bucky touching his hair and opens his eyes, looking up at him. Bucky is standing between his legs while Steve is sprawled slouching onto the couch.

“I miss you so fucking much,” Steve says, and his voice wavers. He has to swallow before he can speak, “and I cannot stand the idea of you looking at me and not wanting me. I just…I can’t do it tonight. Please, please just sit with me instead.” He reaches out a hand and Bucky takes it, expression blank and cautious.

Bucky sits down next to him, pushing in close so Steve can lean against him. Steve is pretty sure it’s the happiest he’s been since Bucky shipped out all those decades ago.

In the morning, Bucky is still there. Steve has shifted in the night and he’s now in Bucky’s lap, head on his thigh and Bucky’s running fingers through his hair.

“Did you sleep?” Steve asks, voice rough.

“Not really. I had a lot to think about.”

“I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.”

“I should have told you that I loved you,” Bucky says. It’s rehearsed. He can tell from the way Bucky says it, the cadence of his words and the flatness of his tone that he’s been going over these words all night long. It doesn’t make it mean any less. “That day in the shower, when you showed up and you grabbed my arm after saving my fucking life, I wish I’d been more confident, more of who I’d been before, and told you that I still loved you. You’re beautiful, Steve. Always have been and always will be. I just didn’t know how to be good enough for you then.”

“Bucky,” he says, so quiet he isn’t sure Bucky even heard him.

“And…I was so jealous of her. Giving you everything you ever wanted. She looked at you like the hero you are, they all did, and all I wanted was to be in our crappy little apartment, working that shitty job and getting to come home to you looking pretty. Every time I looked at you I hated myself for keeping you down.”

“I _never_ thought of it that way. The only time I ever loved who I was, it was because of you, and the way you looked at me and how you made me feel. I felt like you were the only person who ever saw me, and I was the only person who ever saw you.”

Bucky sighs. He looks down at Steve and Steve looks up at him and he wipes away a tear sliding down Steve’s temple. “Oh, sweetheart,” Bucky murmurs to him. It’s an apology and an offer and every syllable is filled with regret.

“I wish I was still your girl. If it could be undone….”

Bucky frowns. “Don’t say that. I wouldn’t want you to undo it,” he says, and he brushes a finger down Steve’s bristled cheek. Steve flushes with shame and pushes himself to his feet.

“I should take a shower. I stink and I’m gross,” he says.

Bucky stands up, seems unsure what to do. “Could I…give you a kiss before I go? Come back later?”

He wants Bucky to kiss him more than almost anything in the world. But, he doesn’t want to do it with the beard. Not yet. Maybe later when they’re more sure of each other, but right now he wants to go back, he wants what he thought he’d never have again. “I want to shave first,” he says, unable to look him in the eye.

Bucky lifts Steve’s hand and kisses the back of it instead, presses it to his forehead and then his cheek. “Whatever you want,” he says. He lets Steve go and Steve watches him until the door shuts behind him.

Steve eats more food, has something to drink and finally heads to the shower. He turns the water on, doesn’t take his clothes off until the mirror is fogged up.

His legs are hairy. His chest is hairy. His cock is huge and his balls are large. His feet are bigger. Everything is wrong. Hadn’t Bucky basically said he didn’t know how to deal with Steve in this body? And Steve didn’t know how to deal with it, either. He just doesn’t.

But, he wants Bucky. He shaves his face and his body, using two razors as its better if they’re sharp. When he comes out of the shower there isn’t a hair on him besides the top of his head. That’s it. That’s literally the only plan he had.

There is nothing else he can do. He doesn’t have nail polish or shoes or lipstick, lingerie or anything that made him feel pretty.

Maybe if he turns the light off Bucky can pretend he’s small? He dries himself off, feels utterly depressed about the situation, grief filled and unsure. He goes to his phone and texts Bucky. “I wish I was prettier for you,” he says, and almost instantly he sees the dots that show Bucky is typing. The dots disappear and then reappear. They disappear again.

“Let me come back over?”

Then another message. “I’m coming over.”

It’s kind of funny. Not in a good way, though. Just… it is what it is. Both of them insecure and uncertain with each other. There’s a knock on his front door. But then Bucky is coming in and Steve jumps to his feet, makes sure the towel is tied tight around his chest. It’s not long enough and he isn’t sure his balls are all the way covered so he sits back down. When Bucky comes to the bedroom Steve is hunched over and staring at the floor.

“Stevie,” he says, and it’s like seventy years is washed away. “Can I take care of you, sweetheart?” he asks, softly. Not so washed away, then. He isn’t confident Steve wants him. Aren’t they a pair.

Steve looks at him but Bucky is blurry through tears. Bucky moves to him, tips Steve’s head back and kisses him on the mouth. Softly and gently. “I want to do right by you, Stevie. I just don’t know quite what that is.”

“I just…I wish you wanted me like you used to. You like me smaller and I liked it too. I don’t know who I am like this.”

“I like you however you are. I love you. I swear. I’m sorry it all went so wrong.”

“I want it to be like it was,” he whispers.

Bucky sets a bag down on the bed next to him. Steve hadn’t even realized he had it. Bucky reaches into the bag and pulls out some very expensive lotion. “Can I put this on you?”

Steve nods minutely. Bucky opens the container and scoops a little out, rubs it in his hands and reaches for Steve’s hand. He rubs it in gently, becoming more confident as the seconds tick by. By the time he’s reached Steve’s upper arm, Steve is half-hard and almost drowsy. It smells warm, a little like blackberry and vanilla but grown up. Sexy.

Bucky takes his other hand and works his way up all over again. He goes to the ground and puts Steve’s foot on his leg, rubs it into his feet and his ankle. He presses a kiss to Steve’s ankle bone and runs his hand up Steve’s smooth calf.

The look in his eyes is hot and Steve is already hard and aching. It’s just been so long. “I didn’t prep myself,” he whispers and realizes how presumptuous it is. At least he didn’t call Bucky daddy.

Bucky smiles, cocky and confident. “Good. I want to do it myself. I’m going to lick you open, babydoll. I’ve missed you.”

“Bucky.” He moves forward and kisses him, lets his mouth be soft and open in invitation. “I need you. I’m empty. Help me.”

“Stevie. Fuck. Of course. God, you have no idea how much I need to be inside you again.” Steve wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer, finally feeling a little beautiful. “Can I touch your tits?” Bucky asks, the back of Bucky’s fingers brushing gently against the towel, right over where his nipple is.

“They’re not….” He pulls back, begging him with his gaze. “They’re not tits,” he says, and tries to adjust his posture, to make them look even bigger, closer together. He wants one of those bras that would push and scoop, make them an offering for his man. 

Bucky pulls back, frowning, looks at Steve’s chest, then puts his hands over them and brushes his thumbs right over where Steve’s nipples are hidden. Steve shivers, unbelievably sensitive. “Yeah, they fucking are. Will you let me come on them? Between them? Can I taste them, baby? Stevie. You’ll let me, won’t you?” he asks, cajoling. “Look what they do to me, sweetheart?” he says, taking Steve’s hand and pressing it against the bulge in his pants. 

Steve breathes in a ragged breath. “Of course. Anything you want. They were the only change I thought you might like.”

“I love you, Steve Rogers, but you’re not the smartest tool in the box,”he says, smiling up at him. “I love _everything_ about you. I loved it when you were my girl because it was clear you felt pretty and I liked you feeling pretty and being happy. But, I liked you as Steve too. I liked taking a shower with you and jerking each other off. I just want you.”

“I need….”

“Tell me, baby.”

“I need you to make me feel beautiful. Maybe, don’t be gentle….I’m not going to break, Buck. I want to believe you. Just show me. Take me like you used to.”

Bucky blushes and clears his throat. “Do you…do you want a present? You don’t have to say yes, but if you did, well.”

Steve is already looking at the bag. “Are you serious? What do you have? Why do you have it?”

“Why? Because, I’ve been in love with you for a hundred fucking years and all I think about is having you again. I’d want you so bad, think about what we could do in this new time and, well, it’s just too easy to buy things online.”

“Show me. I’m sure I want it. If you want me in it, then I want it.”

Bucky bites his lip, gestures at the bag and Steve reaches in. Satin. He pulls it out and it spills into his lap. Cream colored and soft lace. Spaghetti straps and sheer lace over his chest…assuming he fits in it. “It should fit. It was made for you. Custom.”

“That’s a little more than one click shopping,” Steve teases.

He shrugs. “There’s more in there.”

Steve reaches into the bag and pulls out a pair of panties. The front is extra large to hold his cock and balls but the back is nothing more than a few thin straps. “I’m not sure this covers enough.”

“Funnily enough, not a lot of my fantasies involve waiting. Definitely bought you things that would mean I could get in you as soon as possible.”

Steve loves that. “Will you give me a minute to try it on?” he asks, glancing up and then away.

Bucky pushes to his feet and kisses Steve on the mouth. He moans, forces himself back and blinks. “I’ll go outside.”

“Feel free to take your clothes off,” Steve says, eyeing him hungrily.

“Right. And, um, lube. I’ll go back to my place. I’ll be… I’ll be back. Right back,” he says, backing up. He bumps into the door and winces.

Steve laughs, happy and stands. Bucky is closing the door but catches sight of him and his towel that’s too small. “Fuck,” he swears, softly, licking his lips and Steve knows it’s going to be okay.

When the door is closed he drops the towel and picks up the heavy satin nightie. He puts it on, smoothes it over his chest, can’t help but stroke his own breasts as he imagines Bucky’s reaction to it. It fits him beautifully.

The nightie goes down to mid-thigh and has a bow in the back. Like he’s a present. He puts the panties on, looks at another bow. His ass is a present, too. He’s looking at himself in the mirror when he hears his door open again and Bucky is coming to the bedroom.

“Come in,” he says, when Bucky is close. Bucky opens the door, a bottle of lube in his metal hand. Which is covered in skin.

“What’s that?” Steve asks, turning.

Bucky blinks and looks away from Steve, follows his gaze to his arm. “Oh,” he says, like he’d forgotten it was there. “It’s a covering that feels more like skin. It’s my body temperature. I thought it would be nicer.”

“I don’t need nicer, I need you.”

Bucky shrugs, tosses the lube onto the bed. “Maybe next time. I just….I want to be gentle with you. What if the metal snags the gown or something? What if my fingers are too rough on your skin?”

“I’m sure it’s fine.”

“Next time. Promise. Just…let me touch you like this, for this time.”

He kisses Bucky on the jaw, working his way down to his lips. When he’s close Bucky turns his head, catching Steve’s lips and slipping his tongue into his mouth. He moves into Steve, reaches just below his ass. “Up baby,” he says, kissing him. Steve makes a little sound and clings to him, trusting Bucky with his weight as he wraps his legs around Bucky’s waist. Bucky has him easily, turns to the bed and puts him down on it.

“You look so fucking beautiful, baby,” he says, and he’s kissing Steve’s knee and then his thigh, little nipping kisses as he works his way upwards, closer and closer to Steve’s hard cock. He stops at Steve’s inner thigh, pulls back, eyes heavy lidded as he pushes Steve’s thighs open.

“Fuck, look at you,” he says, and presses his mouth to Steve’s hole. His tongue licks and strokes until Steve is grinding against his face and his tongue is slipping into him. Bucky adds a knuckle, pressing and pressing until his hole opens a little more.

And then he’s slipping a finger into Steve and Steve is already losing his fucking mind he’s so turned on. “Touch your tits, baby. Let me see you touch yourself.”

Steve nods, and grips them, pushes them together. “Jesus, fuck,” Bucky swears and shoves upwards, pawing at the lace and satin, kissing Steve’s breasts through the material, pulling at it as he tries to get his mouth on them. Bucky’s frantic suddenly, hands on the buttons of his jeans, undoing them and shoving them down. His hard cock springs free and he’s touching himself, jerking lightly as he laves Steve’s breast and groans into them.

“Baby. Baby. I can’t wait. Don’t make me wait, sweetheart.”

Steve tries to think, reaches for the slick and presses it against Bucky’s hand. Bucky is startled by the sight of it. He lets go of his cock and looks at Steve’s hole. How tight he still is.

“Right. I need to prep you more,” he sounds devastated. As if this is the end of the world. It makes Steve feel desired and beautiful.

“Take your clothes off and I’ll do it. I can do it faster than you can.”

“Is that a personal challenge?” he asks, and starts unbuttoning his shirt. Steve squirts lube onto his fingers and rubs it into his hole, pushes a finger in and presses down on the rim, urging the muscle to relax before adding another finger. Bucky’s got him pretty loose and so he moves to three, taking in a deep breath as his body tries to adjust.

“You look so fucking lovely,” Bucky sighs.

Steve looks at him, licks his lips. “Do you like the nightie?” he asks, and his voice is breathy and high.

“I fucking love it. I’ve gotta be in you, sweetheart. I need you.” His shirt is gone, the pants are off and he’s naked, prowling up the bed to Steve. He shoves Steve’s legs open and up, looks down at where Steve’s fingers are buried deep in there. “Tell me if I’m hurting you?”

“I’m not sure you can hurt me now,” he says, and he doesn’t know how he feels about that. Steve pulls his fingers free and Bucky smiles, reaches down to the floor awkwardly and comes back with Steve’s towel.

“You’re so thoughtful,” Steve says.

“I am. You’re welcome,” he says, giving Steve a cheeky wink. Then he’s distracted as he notches the head of his cock to Steve’s rim. He rubs himself there, over and over, pressing a little deeper each time until Steve is panting with desperation.

“Come on. Come _on_,” he says, hands on Bucky’s back, digging into him. He grabs Bucky’s ass, feels the muscles bunch. Bucky lowers himself down, putting his weight on Steve but not fucking him.

Steve strains upward, kissing him, licking Bucky’s bottom lip.

“I need to hear it, baby girl. Say it for me?”

“Daddy.”

“Yeah, that’s right, sweetheart. That’s who I am, isn’t it?” he says, rough and on the edge. He sinks in, pressing and forcing Steve open. Bucky reaches down and grabs the base of his own dick hard. “Fuck. You’re going to make me come before I’m ready.”

“Daddy. God, you’re so big, daddy. Daddy,” Steve chants, like he’s gotta make up for all the years he didn’t get to say the word. Didn’t get to have his person who’d take care of him and make him feel cared for.

“You’re the worst,” Bucky says, smacking him on the ass.

“Fuck!” he says, as Steve’s body clenches on his cock. “Sorry. Fuck,” he groans, and then he’s fucking into Steve in sharp, short thrusts. He comes in a matter of moments, resting his weight on top of Steve while he gets his breath back. Steve wraps his arms around him, holding him close. He smells like home.

He’s glad Bucky came quickly and he hopes it’s because Bucky wants him desperately even though he’s totally changed. “Thank you.” He whispers, tears sliding down his face.

“What’s this for, then?” Bucky asks, kissing Steve’s tears away and keeping him sheltered under his body.

“I’m glad you still want me.”

“Always. Want me to show you? You’re not the only one with stamina, you know. Perhaps this next time will be more impressive,” Bucky says, dropping his head into Steve’s neck.

“I don’t want you to draw it out. I like it when you need me. When it feels…urgent.” Bucky makes a hmm sound and shifts inside him, a half thrust. Steve’s body squelches with all the come and lube in him and he closes his eyes, embarrassed.

Bucky grabs his tit, fondles him until he’s rocking up, trying to get Bucky to go deeper and faster, harder. Bucky’s hand is wandering, fingers near the edge of the panties and the crease of his thigh. Bucky looks down with a grin. “You’re soaked, sweetheart. Look what you did to these pretty panties I bought you.”

“I can’t help it,” he says, unsure what to say.

“I love it. I want to see it. Want to feel you. Can I play with you? Make you come and have you milk my cock? You know how I love that.”

Steve bites his lip, uncertain. “So, it’s for you?” Because he doesn’t want it for him, but he would do anything to make Bucky happy.

“I’m not sure. Can it be for us?” Bucky asks, after a moment.

“I mean…” he squeezes his thighs against Bucky’s hips, making him go still. “It’s just really big. I wish it wasn’t. You liked me smaller and I—”

“Don’t say that. I don’t care how big or small your cock is.”

“Buck,” he says, rubbing his hand up and down Bucky’s back and then grabbing his ass, just wanting to get this conversation out of the way. Bucky’s cock flexes inside him but he doesn’t start moving. Patient and determined to wait Steve out.

Steve sighs. “Before you shipped out we almost always had sex that way. You always called me pretty and talked about how little I was. I’m now the total opposite of that. It’s hard to believe you don’t have a preference.”

“Steve,” he says, and Steve looks into his eyes because the use of his name like that means Bucky is serious. “All I’ve ever wanted was to take care of you. The only times you let me really do that was when you were being my girl. When you were my girl you’d sleep in late and not worry about being too ill to work, you’d take care of your health in a way you wouldn’t otherwise. And, I was so scared you were going to die on me. Hell, I’d have been _your_ girl if it would have been good for us and you.”

Steve rolls his eyes at the very idea. It was just ridiculous. That dynamic had never occurred to either of them. “Well, I don’t need that anymore, I guess.”

“No, you don’t. Not that part of it. But, I still like taking care of you and feeling like I can protect you. I liked feeling like you needed me. I liked pushing you down and fuckingyou while you wore pretty clothes.” Bucky swallows, his voice a little quieter as he makes his confession,“I _loved_ you making effort and spending the day doing things in preparation for me to come home and have you. The longer you spent on that, the makeup and the polish and all that, the sweeter and the hotter you were for me. And I couldn’t believe you’d go through all that hassle just for me. _That’s_ what I loved. It had nothing to do with the actual size of you. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

Steve nods. “I feel different when I’m being your girl.”

Bucky kisses him. “I know. You act different, too.” Steve blushes, because yeah he does. It just happens whether he means it to or not. “How about you turn over and if you want to rub yourself on the bed while I fuck you, you can?”

“Yeah. I like that,” Steve says, glad to take the focus off his cock for while longer.

Bucky pulls slowly out of him and Steve turns over, looking at him over his shoulder. Bucky sinks back into him and Steve moans, eyes closing and head falling to the bed. He lets Bucky ride him down and get between his legs, opening him up so he can rut into him. Bucky licks Steve’s neck and latches onto him, teeth holding him in a bite and Steve fucks hard into the bed, shoves a hand under himself and tries to jerk himself off. It’s awkward but he’s desperate to come.

The need is suddenly overwhelming. “That’s my good girl. Get a hand on yourself so you feel good.”

Bucks slams hard into Steve and comes, convinced he can feel Bucky’s cock painting his insides, filling him up. He comes hard, shaking through it, feels Bucky petting him gently, telling him he was perfect as he comes back to himself.

“Do you think we could spend some time ordering some stuff online and then maybe I could make you dinner?” Steve asks, wiggling in invitation.

“I want to move in with you and I want it to be today.”

The happiness he feels is practically overwhelming. “Don’t you have like one duffel bag full of stuff?”

“Maybe. It was the permission part of it that I was thinking about rather than the time it would take.”

“Oh. Well, yes, you can. And I can still make you dinner and order some stuff online. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

“Enough to blow me in the shower?” Steve asks, cheekily.

Bucky pulls out of him and hauls Steve to his feet. “I could blow you _and_ fuck you in the shower. I’m a man of many talents.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I sort of wonder about writing a prequel chapter to this story about how they got to that point in their relationship back in the 40's. If anyone has an opinion about that, let me know. I'm comment motivated. Like a golden retriever lusting after a snausage.


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